can i still be body positive and advocate for fat acceptance and still want to lose weight? I hate how I feel in my body, and I know some of this hate is social conditioning and some is family history--but I'm tired of being unhappy in my skin. Even after therapy and treatment and years of education and practice about FA, I am still unhappy. Do I need to stay fat to be a part of the movement for self acceptance? Does losing weight make me a hypocrite?
what you do with your body is your business! this should not be about losing credibility within the body acceptance movement, because it’s for all bodies. lots of thinner people do great work in terms of body acceptance, provided they recognize that they are in a position of privilege and are charged with working towards allyship to fat people.
that being said, while endorphins and feeling strong and healthy can feel awesome, losing (or gaining) weight is not an instant cure all for a lack of self love. fuck “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” — nothing tastes as good as loving yourself. losing weight will not fix not loving yourself. i’ve met lots of conventionally “hot” people - skinny, “pretty” whatever - who still hated themselves, even how they looked. i promise you losing weight in and of itself (especially if it’s to conform to some contrived hegemonic image of beautiful) will not change your overall happiness.
i’m far more confident (about my appearance and otherwise) now than i was when i was thinner (in high school), and it has everything to do with things completely unrelated to my weight — starting college and being involved in things that really mattered to me, ending relationships with people who put me down, developing my politics and thinking about the whole concept of attractiveness, and being in an environment where i am valued and fit in better than high school.
it sounds like you’ve taken some good steps — FA education and therapy are great. what’s also helped me with self esteem as a curvy girl (in conjunction with therapy and FA stuff) are not consuming damaging media (magazines, fashion blogs, TV shows even) that makes me feel bad about myself, and doing self esteem affirmations (i have a whole tag for them on my blog here.)
also the best thing ever is realizing that no matter how you feel about your body, your heart, mind, and soul say a lot more about who you are as a person. are you kind to other people? are you kind and patient and complimentary with yourself? do you surround yourself with people who know that the very best version of you is who you are at your core? do you know that? do you help others feel good about themselves? loving your body and loving yourself as a whole unique individual are inextricably linked processes.
this was a really hard question to answer, and there’s a lot more to say. i’d love to talk more about it with you. take care! sending good vibes your way!
Stores That Cater To Plus Size Women
- Asos Curve
- Old Navy
- Forever 21+
- Lane Bryant
- Fashion Bug
- Loop 18
- One Stop Plus
- Jessica London
- Ashley Stewart
- Macy’s Plus
- Deb Plus
- b & lu
- Dorothy Perkins
- City Chic
- Domino Dollhouse
- Sealed With A Kiss Designs
- TJ Maxx
- Sears Plus
- Target Plus
- KMart Plus
- Fashion to Figure
- Simply Be
Hey, are you aware that Nadia Abhoulson has said some really racist things, specifically against black people? Just asking because you keep posting her stuff, and I know you've not posted other people in the past for doing similar things.
It is impossible for me to know the entire history of everyone whose pictures I reblog because I like their outfits. It is impossible to know everything they’ve ever said. I believe that no one is disposable and if she’s saying racist things someone should talk to her about it and call her out/in and educate her instead of telling me not to reblog her fashion pictures that might help other girls feel more confident.
I’m not sure what good that really does in eradicating racism as an ideology we all learn all our lives.
BUT if anyone is really emotionally upset by seeing the pictures or something please let me know and I won’t post em.
I hope you can get where I’m coming from about this because I’ve been thinking of this issue of “don’t reblog so and so because they said this” more.